


Fawn

by pastelkanan



Category: Uta no Prince-sama
Genre: Baking, F/M, Valentine's Day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-19
Updated: 2018-02-19
Packaged: 2019-03-21 11:07:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13739586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pastelkanan/pseuds/pastelkanan
Summary: February 14th is a big day. It's not just Valentine's, is it? No, it's also Ren's birthday, the first one since the two of you have been friends. And he's just the sweetest thing.{My gift for the UtaPri Valentine's Exchange! / Female reader!~}





	Fawn

**Author's Note:**

> I'm still a wee bab with reader-insert works but I promise I tried really hard to make this as cute as I could ;u;

   This is, quite possibly, the cheesiest thing you’ve ever done. There you stand, studying the instructions on the box of cake mix, all the while wondering if this will be okay. You’ve never actually made cupcakes before, just full-sized cakes, a couple pans of brownies, and that one batch of cookies that one time. Other than the cookies, which had been an attempt at making something some scratch, you’ve always just followed the instructions of the boxes of dry mix. You’d prefer to forget the cookie disaster, really. That was why you were back to dry cake mix. A quick search on the internet had made it seem like using a regular cake mix for cupcakes was no big deal, but it’s not like you’re a Pinterest mom or anything. Still, you have a good reason to be doing this. You set the oven to its  _ bake _ setting and started to mix the ingredients.

   You decided about a week ago what you’d be doing for Valentine’s Day. The universe had aligned in such a way that you ended up in possession of a collection of heart-shaped silicone cupcake molds. You had already been planning to try—the keyword there being  _ try _ —to make a cute little birthday cake for Ren, but when the puzzle pieces of the heart-shaped molds and his being born on literal Valentine’s Day fell into place, you knew. You knew you had to do something incredibly lame and adorable, so here you are, all of the ingredients and equipment you’d need spread out on the counter in front of you. Heart-shaped cupcakes will be cute, right? Totally cute. Totally cute unless Ren thinks it’s lame for whatever reason.

   Well, it won’t be the end of the world if he didn’t like it. It’s not like you’re dating or anything. He’s an idol. He’s not allowed to. They say that idols can’t date because it’ll _ ruin people’s fantasies _ or something, but that’s a hunk of shit. Anyone that’s a real fan of an idol would be happy to see them in a happy relationship, right? You sigh. It’s not like there’s anything you can do about it, even if it sucks. You don’t even know if Ren likes you that way. You two have been friends for awhile now, having met on a job of his. You’d gotten along really well from the start, and soon enough, it was normal to talk to him all the time. And soon after that, you realized you had a reasonably sized crush on him. 

   But, putting aside the fact that idols like him apparently weren’t allowed to have personal lives, your place has never been in the spotlight. The only reason you’ve been able to be good friends with him is that you’re a part of the background, a blip in the credits, a brief mention in the acknowledgments paragraph that nobody bothers to read. For the most part, you’re okay with that. You like what you do. Even if you don’t get to be the one out on stage, you get to make sure that everyone involved in a project has a good time while working. You get to ensure that production goes smoothly, even if you’re just bringing people coffee or giving unasked for advice on the flow of a line. 

   If you were out front, a more important part of the idol world, there’d be no way you could hang out with him. This way, people think that you’re a dependable person who always helps him with his projects. If you were an idol too—or a model or an actress or anything, really—there’d be constant talk in the press.  _ Ren of ST☆RISH Spotted With...! Could This Be Love? _ would be on every tabloid. Every online message forum would be filled with stuff like,  _ she’s such a bitch! who does she think she is? I hope she dies, lol. _

   It’s definitely better this way.

   Being friends with him is already more than you could’ve hoped for, really. Truth be told, you had always kind of been a fan of his. When ST☆RISH had their debut, you, like every other girl with an interest in idols, had fallen in love with them. And Ren was the one that really stood out to you. You were far from being his only fan, naturally; you had made friends with a lot of other girls through your mutual love of him. When they had found out that you’d be working on a project of his, they had almost lost their minds. Nowadays, they’re still doing the same thing, but at least they don’t beg you to try to get an autograph for them anymore.

   Your roommate, however, is a pretty ordinary girl without any real deep interest in much of anything. When you had first talked to her about your idea to make those little—strawberry—cupcakes for him, she had shrugged and said, “Sure. Sounds good.” And then, as if she hadn’t been listening to a word you said, the very next day she had said, “You could do something really wild and use chocolate icing.” You had to remind her that Ren didn’t  _ like _ chocolate and that you couldn’t use it. You’d just take the easy route and use vanilla, then maybe decorate with some sprinkles or something. You had picked up all sorts of stuff when you had gone shopping for this project; you wanted it to be really special, not just some mess on a platter. 

   You think back to the instructions you had found online. After normally stirring all of the ingredients together, you need to fill the molds about two-thirds of the way full. The cupcakes will rise naturally as they baked, after all. It’ll take a long time for them to cool enough for you to decorate, though. Well, you have some household chores to take care of anyway, so you can deal with those while the cupcakes bake and cool. 

   You sigh and stretch your arms. Those clothes aren’t going to put themselves in the washing machine.

 

—

 

   It’s been over an hour since you took the cupcakes out to cool. If they aren’t cool by now, you don’t know if they ever will be. You return to the kitchen and find that everything, thankfully, is right where you left it. While you had been doing chores, your roommate had emerged from her room to dig around in the kitchen a little bit. You know she wouldn’t purposefully ruin your plans or anything, but you can’t help but worry. A knot of nervous excitement has settled in your stomach, a weird feeling that isn’t entirely uncomfortable but still foreign. It’s… strange. There’s still about two hours until the start of Ren’s party; the Shining Agency was hosting a party at the school, the way they always did for their star graduates. The idols of ST☆RISH were obviously some of their best, right along with the guys from QUARTET NIGHT. The only one out of those four who actually seems to enjoy getting a party is Reiji, though. The others… eh. They’ll attend out of courtesy, but it’s not like they really care that much. At least, that’s the vibe you tend to get from them.

   If Ren hadn’t decided that he wanted to be friends with you, you probably never would have spent time with any of them in the first place. You take a deep breath. Being there as Ren’s friend is the reason you’re even in the kitchen right now. The cupcakes rose nicely in the oven, and now they’re definitely cool enough to be properly decorated. You’re no expert at this kind of thing, so you watched some cupcake decorating videos on the internet last night. The first step is to prepare a piping bag, a thing you’ve never used in your life. What could  _ possibly _ go wrong?

   Some deity must be looking out for you today. You manage to make appropriately sized dollops and swirls of icing on each cupcake with as little mess as possible considering your inexperience. There’s a bit of icing on the countertop, a bit on the piping bag, and an embarrassing amount on the apron you decided to wear, but hey, it’s just an apron. No big deal. Next up are the sprinkles; you had probably spent a little too much money on getting cute sprinkles, but the end result is cute. Some have traditional sprinkles, some have dots, others have hearts and others have stars. You made these for Ren, really, but you really hope the others like them, too. By the time you’re done, there are two dozen decorated cupcakes on the counter. You haven’t seen the guest list, but there’s enough for you, ST☆RISH, their composer Haruka, QUARTET NIGHT, two of their favorite teachers… and Shining himself, of course. Who else is going to be there? Maybe you should have made more.

   You shake your head and take a deep breath. It’s going to be alright. One of your friends has an interest in baking, and so you had asked them if you could borrow their tiered display stands. Your request had been granted, thankfully, so you didn’t have to go searching for some to buy. The problem won’t be displaying them, then. It’s going to be actually getting them to the party. 

   Well, at least you decorated them in a way where none of the icing hangs over the edges of the cupcakes. The icing won’t touch and get all messy if you put them in some Tupperware containers. 

   Now you just have to remember where you keep those damn things. 

 

—

 

   You carry your (reusable) shopping bag into the main hall. Ren isn’t here yet. He’s not supposed to be here for about another half hour or so, giving everyone a bit of extra time to get things set up and ready for him. The food tables are at the opposite side of the room, so you start to make your way there. If you get icing on yourself while setting these up, you’re literally going to cry. This outfit was… a bit expensive. You and your roommate are, miraculously, about the same size in clothing, but she has a bit more free spending money than you do, meaning that she can afford to buy nicer clothes than you can. You borrowed this dress from her—it’s a simple, maroon colored dress that reaches just past your knees and has strap sleeves holding it up; the black stockings and the two-inch high heels, however, are yours—and you would  _ hate  _ to mess it up. One by one, one slow passing moment at a time, you set the cupcakes up on the display stands. 

   When you’re done and have put your bag under the table with everyone else’s containers as you had been directed to do upon your arrival, someone taps you on the shoulder. You look over and see a relatively short, petite girl with chin-length pink hair and a precious smile. Haruka. You smile back when you recognize her; you’ve talked with her a few times before while you’ve both been helping Ren on a job. She’s a sweet, adorable girl who has to be one of the hardest workers you’ve ever met. 

   “Haruka! Hi!” you say as you both go in for a friendly hug. “How have you been?”

   “I’ve been great. You?”

   “I can’t complain. I’m surprised, though. I thought you’d be showing up with Ren.”

   She shrugged slightly. “His older brother will be here. They’ll be coming in together.” Her eyes slip over to your cupcake display. “Did you make those yourself?”

   Your face warms up a little, the way it does when you blush. “Um, yeah. I did. Do… do they look alright?”

   “They’re really cute!” she says excitedly, putting your fears to rest; if she thinks they’re cute, then they’re probably going to be well-received by the others, right? “I’m glad you came. Jingu—I mean, Ren will like them.” She smiles in a way that looks almost embarrassed. “I’m trying to get used to calling  _ all _ of the boys by their personal names, but… it’s really hard sometimes.”

   You nod. “I understand. It takes awhile to get used to calling someone by something different. It’s alright, though. I know you can do it.”

   Before she can say anything else, someone comes running into the room, announcing that the Jinguji brothers have arrived. Everyone starts rushing to get into place, including yourself. You choose to stay near Haruka, though; you know everyone here will be kind to you, but you’re more comfortable with her than anyone else. That is, until Ren walks in. 

   He knew this was coming, of  _ course _ , but he still acts like it’s a pleasant surprise, saying something about how this was incredible and he was so happy to see everyone. Even though it’s Valentine’s Day, there are plenty of people here, though it’s not surprising that the other idols came to the party. Who would they even spend Valentine’s Day with if they aren’t allowed to date anyone? He’ll spend the night making his way around the room, talking to everyone and trying the food everyone brought and receiving gifts that he would have to open later; a lot of fans had sent gifts to the agency, all addressed to him, and those gifts have been gathered here for him. He’ll be taking every single gift here home with him, including the one you brought for him. It’s not anything super fancy, but… you hope he likes it anyway. When production wrapped up on the project where you two met, the whole cast and crew had gathered for a few group photos. Everyone got a copy of the final selection out of the lot—the  _ official _ picture that was included in production blogs and such—but you, working behind the scenes, had access to all of the photos, even the ones that weren’t chosen and knew what they looked like. You had called the manager of that project to get a favor and ended up with a proper copy of one of the unused photos. It was special, a picture that most people wouldn’t get to see. But you had managed to snag a copy and frame it, and there it is, sitting on a pile of birthday gifts for him, all wrapped in silver wrapping paper. 

   You almost went for orange, just to play into the whole  _ idol image color _ thing, but figured that a lot of people would be doing that and decided to pick another color. It turned out to be a good choice; there are even more orange-wrapped gifts than you had expected. 

   As Ren starts to make his rounds, you anxiously wait for the moment you’ll get to talk to him. 

 

—

 

   You slip out into the hall. Haruka encouraged you to talk to a few new people and even pointed out some folks that she thought you might get along with, and while they were nice people, it was a bit tiring. Meeting new people is always a little bit stressful, but in a scenario like this where you’re really only friendly with two people out of a large group, it’s even harder. You lean against the wall and let out a long sigh to steady your breathing. You knew well enough that it would take a long time for Ren to get to you, that you might have to interact with people you didn’t know, but you really hadn’t properly prepared. This is the first birthday party of an  _ idol _ that you’ve been to, after all. There are so many important people in there. So many famous faces, so many household names. And you?

   You’re basically an errand girl on idol-related projects. You’re normally content with that, but when surrounded by all of those important people… 

   “Are you okay?” a familiar voice asks. You look over and smile widely when you see Ren there. “I couldn’t help but see you sneak away. A pretty girl like you shouldn’t be exiled to the hall.”

   “I’m alright,” you say. “I got a bit overwhelmed in there, that’s all. Just taking a bit of a breather.”

   He leans against the wall next to you. You don’t  _ want _ to awkwardly stare at him or anything, but… it’s insanely difficult to  _ not _ be drawn to him. He’s so beautiful. And kind. And passionate. And you can’t help but feel a bit hopeless; why do you feel like this? Why can’t you stop feeling like it’s all so unfair? You  _ want _ to say—and, admittedly, you’ve been trying to convince yourself—that it’s because you want him to be able to be with anyone he wants, but that’s not totally true, is it? It’s because you want to be with him. You don’t even know if he could ever feel the same way, but a little wishful thinking never hurt anyone, right? If you could tell him everything you love about him, if he could ever say that he feels the same, everything would feel  _ right.  _ That’s impossible, though. Unless he decides to retire early, he’s totally off-limits. 

   Besides, even  _ if _ idols were allowed to love, you’re pretty sure that Haruka would be at the top of his list. She’s been with him for far longer than you have and he seems incredibly fond of her, always calling her cute nicknames and bringing her flowers and such. Of course, it seems like  _ all  _ of the boys from ST☆RISH are madly in love with her and you can’t totally blame them. You aren’t  _ jealous  _ of her or anything—you aren’t that kind of person—but you can’t help but wonder what that’s like for her. 

   “Thank you,” he says. A look of surprise must cross your face, judging by the way he starts to chuckle. “Thank you for coming,” he clarifies. “I know you don’t always like coming to these types of things, so I’m happy that you came anyway. And I doubt I’ll be able to open your gift until later tonight, too, and you’ll likely have gotten tired and gone home by then. I wanted to thank you in advance. I enjoy your company.”

   You look away, feeling just a little bit awkward. “It’s no trouble. I’m happy to be here,” you say. You decide to never, ever mention how hard it was to get that favor, that photo. He doesn’t need to know. “We’re friends, right? I would never skip out on a friend’s birthday.” Your eyes don’t leave the floor. “I was wondering… did you, by any chance, get one of those cupcakes? The heart-shaped ones, I mean.”

   You nearly jump straight out of your skin when he puts a hand on top of your head. “I hope you know that you didn’t have to bring any food. I’m glad you did, though. I would love it if you ever feel like baking for me again.” You can’t tell if that’s friendly, friendly-flirty, or flirty. You’re thinking it’s probably friendly-flirty; it isn’t that you’re trying to convince yourself that he’s interested, of course, it’s just that his tone of voice sounds rather flirtatious and fun. It reminds you of what he sounds like when he teases Haruka. “They’re just as cute and sweet as you are.”

   Oh, God. You cover your face with your hands, embarrassed and probably beet red. “That’s… that’s not…You can’t just suddenly say stuff like that.”

   His hand glides from the top of your head to your shoulder as he wraps his arm around you and pulls you a little bit closer. Your heart hammers in your chest. What is this? What’s going on? Why is he doing this? It’s not unpleasant, but it’s  _ certainly  _ unexpected. You feel like maybe you need to pull away from him before someone sees the two of you and he gets in trouble, but you can’t quite bring yourself to do so. In fact, you lean your head to the side and rest it against him. He’s warm and the air around him thrums with energy, the type of energy that only comes from people who well and truly loves being around other people. 

   He pats your shoulder. “You underestimate yourself,” he says, not quite flirty but not entirely serious. It sounds like he’s trying to get a point across while still being as sweet as he can possibly be. “You don’t believe in your skills as much as you should. You act like everyone is ahead of you, like the things you do aren’t good enough. That isn’t true. You’re so much more than you think, fawn.”

   He does that. He gives girls he likes being around cute nicknames. Haruka is  _ little lamb _ , which is fair; she’s soft and sweet like a lamb. And you? He started calling you  _ fawn  _ a while back, saying something about how you reminded him of a newborn fawn, a bit shaky and unsure of herself but still trying to stand by herself. When he first gave it to you, you hadn’t thought that you were particularly worthy of such a cute nickname. Even now, you sometimes struggle to accept the fact that he’s fond enough of you to give you a nickname. Still, hearing it makes you happy each and every time. You might not be a romantic interest for him and maybe you’ll struggle to accept that, but you’re still somehow important to him. Important enough for him to stay in contact with you, invite you to events, act like you’re a part of his personal team. Important enough to get a nickname.

   Maybe you should tell him how you feel. This is as good a time as any, you think. It’s scary. It’s hard to imagine yourself  _ actually  _ saying it. But you need to try. If you don’t try, you’ll never know how he really feels about you. 

   You take a deep breath. “Ren…”

   “I mean it,” he says, cutting you off. You realize quickly that he doesn’t realize you were going to say something new. He thinks you were about to protest what he just said. You don’t have it in you to cut  _ him _ off, though. You don’t think you ever will. All you can do is listen as he speaks. “I want for you to know that you’re special, even if you don’t always think that it’s true. You’re loved. Cared for. You have friends, people who are happy to see you whenever they can. Fawn, you’re a wonderful person to know. I’m truly glad that I met you.”

   Well, even though you wish there would be something more between you than what there seems to currently be, being the best possible friend to him you can be is plenty enough for now. 

**Author's Note:**

> It's a couple days after Valentine's, but still, I hope everyone had a good one! <3


End file.
